Misunderstood and troubled are the words of the moment, pained, lost - looking for a way out. Well hang the fuck on for a second if you don't mind... because this smacks of contradiction and hypocrisy. It's what never fails to amaze me about the press and the general public. It's fine to ridicule the living - and let's be honest, she was in a shit state. What a joke she was to us. We laughed and jibed as in the more difficult times of her life she stumbled around and was heckled off stage. We waited with bated breath as she did another stint in rehab but were all - 'I told you so' when she caved in to addiction again on the other side. We might well have loved her music and lyrics, you'd have to be lobotomised for it not to resonate somewhere within your emotions. And her voice was simply one of a kind... But forgive me if I make this now unpolitically correct observation - did most people not think she was an idiot when she was alive? Nobody cared about how troubled she was then, or how deep seated the cause of her repeated reliance on drugs was, to get by. Back when she was alive, the general public thought - she's fucking rich and famous. Why does she deserve my sympathy? She's got enough money to sort herself out but she obviously doesn't want to. What a loser.
Then she's found dead in her apartment and instantly elevated to legendary and completely heroic status of idols. A genius, a wasted life, what are we going to do without her?
Well - what did we do with her?
Friends' and co-artists words on the news of her death are touching but questionable. 'She was like a sister to me. My musical soul mate'. Great. Did she mean enough to you, or to any one of her friends who claimed to be like family, that you were prepared to drag her away from the people leading her further into the downward spiral; that you were prepared to do anything, to see her clean herself up? It's easy for me to say this, with no crack and heroin addicts as friends. Hell, even as a public bystander to the whole Winehouse affair, I didn't tweet anything about giving her a break or send her messages of support. Who did stand up for her when she was battling addiction and humiliating herself, her undeniable talent being hidden under the embarrassing effects of drugs and alcohol? Did we laugh or did we take a stand against the pressure and perceived glamour of substance abuse, that all of the most respected artistic geniuses rely on to surpress their hurt? No we didn't. Because we hate the rich and famous. When people are going through it, they're losers. When they're dead - they're finally winners.
Perhaps what grates on me the most, is that we won't even learn from this pathetic about turn of attitude. Because now, what will resonate is that her tragic life was the making of her cult status. So she's dead - but fuck, did she go out with a bang. All pale and emaciated, addled with chemicals that stifled her inimitable ability to perform a song as we all knew she could. But it wasn't her fault. What could she do, what could anyone - do? Without the drugs, she wasn't Amy.
The funny thing is, we hate druggies. They're the 'scum' we step over in the streets, begging for some money for tea, money that 'we know' is really so they can shoot up again. Do we give a shit what creative talent lurks beneath those glazed eyes - talent that given a chance, could touch souls and change lives? Do we give a shit how they came to be so hopeless, do we even care enough to ask what they're feeling, that makes their lives so unbearable and dark?
No we don't. The biggest hypocrites will spit in their faces, tell them to get a life and then spend the weekends snorting lines off a glass coffee table with the rest of their respectable friends, subconsciously trying to numb the sense of complete meaningless that defines their own lives. The only difference being - someone gave them a chance and they think they're living the dream. Here's a thought. Next time you see someone on the street begging for money, a complete low-life who clearly relies more on drugs than your approval, think of Amy. Because it wasn't fame and fortune that turned her into the mess she became. She already had the problems. What fame and fortune brought her was the ease and convenience with which to ease them.
Now, selfishly - all people can do is mourn the loss of the music that brought some comfort into their own lives. But are they really mourning the person? Did they even care about the person? Or are they quick to judge and even quicker to change tack when the very mortality of these tortured souls is brought to light and we realise they were human?
Amy Winehouse, 1983 - 2011. RIP.
Really interesting post.
ReplyDeleteI'm in total agreement; as soon as something goes wrong, somewhere, whether it's death or otherwise, we're always singing the praises of someone, yet, as long as they 'exist' normally, we couldn't care less what they do and never give a second thought to assisting in their plights.
Glad someone else has noticed this, I've always meant to get round to saying this, but never quite make it! :-/